


Not Done Yet

by flickerbyniall



Series: Not Done Yet [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drunk calls, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 20:18:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12328140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickerbyniall/pseuds/flickerbyniall
Summary: Niall moved on, he did.





	Not Done Yet

The thing about moving on, it’s that it hurts. A lot.

Niall knew that. He knew from the moment Harry said _“goodbye, Niall”_ in that last phone call on New Year’s Eve. He didn’t say “ _see you later_ ,” he didn’t say “ _i love you_.” And Niall _knew_.

He may have had way more drinks than he should’ve, and he may have cried a little before falling into his bed and sleeping for the next fourteen hours, but Niall also knew that Harry didn’t owe him anything. They were never a couple, after all; they were just a _thing_.

So, he decided to leave. He took his backpack, his passport and his cousins and got himself lost in Asia. And it was great, refreshing. He learned and he lived and he wrote – even if he hated the way he felt doing it, he wrote.

He was in a good place now – he could say his name without feeling like he was drowning, he could talk about him without biting his tongue and most importantly of all, he made peace with the fact that whatever happened, it wasn’t his fault or Harry’s. It was just the way it is.

So when his phone rang in the middle of the night, he didn’t expect to hear his voice.

“Niall!”

“Harry?”

He was drunk, his voice was unusually high and he was giggling. Niall put the phone away and sat up in the bed, closed his eyes and cupped his face with his left hand. He was so tired already.

“I miss you, Niall!”

Niall bit his lips, keeping himself from ending the call.

“It’s past three in the morning, is there something important you need to tell me?”

Harry laughed, in all it’s glory, loud and bright, making Niall’s bones shake and his heart rise. _Damn it_.

“Yes, I said: I miss you, Niall”

He was mumbling, his words were lazy and his breathing was faster, like his brain was running and his mouth couldn’t catch up. Niall knew exactly what Harry looked like in that very moment. Sprawled in his bed, with his limbs in each corner of the mattress, his eyes shut and the biggest smile on his face. ****

Niall sighed, giving up completely.

“I miss you too, Haz.”

“No.”

And suddenly, the tone of this voice was deeper just like his breathing.

“ _I miss you._ ”

And it hurt, even when Niall thought he was over it, even when he let all of it out writing Flicker, even when he cried in his mother’s arms not telling her why, and making her cry too.

Niall gulped.

“You have someone now, Harry.”

“I always have someone Niall! But I never have you!”

And that was unfair, and it filled Niall with anger. _You always had me_.

“You came to my show and you didn’t say hi, that’s rude.”

He wanted to end the fucking call so bad now, but he knew Harry would call until he answered again and he was so tired.

“I’m talking to you Niall, don’t leave me hanging.”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you.”

And he didn’t care that he sounded sarcastic, he didn’t care that Harry sounded a lot more sober. Niall was angry.

“What do you mean?”

And now Harry was angry too, and Niall could hear how the bed sheets moved around him as he got up and walked around his room.

“It’s just unfair how you probably won’t remember this in the morning, but this fucking call will haunt me for a long time, Harry. I have a show tomorrow, I’d appreciate-”

“Why didn’t you call me back?”

Niall frowned, his fists pulling on the sheets trying to hold onto something, before he lost it.

“What?”

“Why did you never call back after New Year’s?”

Niall opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out.

“You said _goodbye_.”

And it was almost like asking a question, slowly, whispering. Every part of his body hurt, he felt the tears in his eyes and his nails in the palm of his hand.

“I was in love with you, Niall, and you gave me nothing. I didn’t want to get hurt.”

“So you hurt me instead?”

_I was in love with you, Niall._

_I was in love with you, Niall._

_I was in love with you, Niall._

He was crying now, quietly so Harry wouldn’t notice, and he could pretend this whole thing never happened in the first place.

“How did you decide I wasn’t in love with you too? How did you prefer putting me into some fucking stupid love test only you knew about when you never said you were in love with me in the first place? Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“I-”

“Goodnight, Harry. If you remember this in the morning, call me back.”

Niall didn’t answer the next seven calls, and he didn’t get any sleep either.


End file.
